my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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