I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
