yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
