It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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