I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
