End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize