Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
