Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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