where am i from again
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
