I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
