i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
