I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
