about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
