rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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