I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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