Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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