it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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