p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
