Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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