Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
