think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
