Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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