I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
