Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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