with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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