real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
