He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
