I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
