she smelled like a LAN party
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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