everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
