i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Two words: nipple clamps
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