Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
