Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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