I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
