Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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