Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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