I need help removing her.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
