My friends, they love my intelligence
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
