I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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