And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
