I want to walk on stilts...naked
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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