im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
