Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
