Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
no you cant smoke seaweed
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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