Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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