Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
