So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize