I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize