i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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