Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
40s are totally the cure
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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