Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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