singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
