In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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