Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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