Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
