I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I need water and some morals
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
